Spirited Kids and Emotions

Just because you don't want unschooling doesn't mean you have to go to the opposite end and decide everything for him. There are so many ways to explore what needs to be done and let him take a bit of the lead. After all, in school, it's the teacher who always takes the lead and what happens with a lot of the kids? They're bored out of their minds, frustrated or not really learning.

Plus, these spirited kids tend to be very in-tune with the emotions of people around them, whether they realize it or not. (I’ve learned I really need to watch myself and my unexpressed emotions with one son when it's that time of the month for me. Yikes.) Just you being anxious about him not wanting to do something or feeling anxious about getting work done could get him being resistant. If you put too much pressure on yourself, he might feel that it's pressure on him.

When Homeschooling is Tough

I’m sick of it. I’m frustrated. I need a morale boost.

I went through a lot with my daughter in kindergarten. Actually, it happens a whole lot now, too. Giving her more of a say in what we'll do helps. "Shall we do math now or a game with the letter tiles?" "Math." "What would you like to do for math?" She usually has a pretty good idea of what she would like to do.

She actually spent 4 whole months in her kindergarten year refusing to do anything school-wise. (And this is NOT the spirited one.) She spent the entire time playing and drawing. Strangely enough, after 4 months of not looking at a book or letting me read to her, she picked up a beginner book one day, one we hadn't read together before, and pretty much read the entire thing. I’m still shocked and this was over a year ago.

How Do I Get My Child to Do What I Want?

Ideas: YOU do the fun things (building an igloo with marshmallows, etc.) on your own, but with him right there where he will see you doing it. I have tried this again and again and man, it is a great way of getting kids interested in something. If you don't say ANYTHING to them ahead of time or even invite them to do it with you, it's usually a magnet. "What are you doing?" "I’m building an igloo with marshmallows and icing." "Can I do that too?" At times they sort of know that you're trying to hook them in and they'll look at you and you'll get, "I don't want to do that." "You don't have to do it, I’m doing it." And you continue about your work. They might not join in, but they will often hang around and watch, which can often be just as much of a learning experience as actually doing it.

One of those days!

Yeah, I’ve had those days, weeks, and months. The best-laid plans just get thwarted until you feel like stapling their little hiney to a seat and sticking a workbook in front of them...arrrgh!

Why do you think that he would work more enthusiastically in a classroom? Is it just the "you" in the process?

Maybe, you could think about taking him to an organized class on some topic or subject. It would help take pressure off of you and then you could see how he reacts. Then maybe you can compare the two situations and see what the difference is (and try to see beyond taking it personally. My 5 yr old daughter takes enrichment classes for fun and to work with others as well as to supplement my curriculum: science (chemistry), sign Language, soccer (skill building, not competitive), swim, and gymnastics. What I also like about these classes is that most use equipment that I could never have in our home - bonus all around.

Kids' Complaining

Is he just complaining or is he refusing to do it? If he's complaining, that's not that bad. A lot of kids will complain about things but do them anyway. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't like the stuff, just that there is some payoff for them in complaining. However, you can tell him, "I won't accept unhelpful complaints. We need to learn about the Arctic. If you have a suggestion of how to make this activity better or something to do that doesn't involve ____________________ (computer, t.v., whatever you would ban), you can tell me about it." If he doesn't have a specific suggestion, you two could brainstorm ideas together.

Different Learning Styles

Think about what are all the differences are. This may just be a case of having a different learning style than your child. For example, my daughter is very kinesthetic (a mover) and I am more auditory. Sign language is VERY difficult for me, but a breeze for her. We use it to compromise on how she takes spelling quizzes - she hates writing and gets distracted doing it verbally, so she finger spells her words.

My other idea is, and feels free to completely disregard this one, is to either do a pre-packaged curriculum or join a charter. Anything you ask him to do from then on out is then "not your idea" and would seem more like he's doing it for "someone else". My theory, maybe far fetched, on this is that, if it is the "you" in the situation, then you will be removing that in appearance. As stated before, feel free to disregard. I do my own curriculum, I would personally not do a full prepackaged curriculum, nor go the charter/ISP route. BUT, maybe it is an idea for this situation.

Homeschooling Boys - Gaining Maximum Success from Minimum Cooperation