How to Get Your Kids to Do Something

I find the easiest way to get my kids to do something is to say, "Go away, leave me alone, I’m going to do XYZ and I want some peace."

First they look, then they ask questions, then they offer help, then they take over, then I go and read a book and leave them to complete the task.

I learned a lot from the book, "Henry and Mudge and the Long Weekend," If you haven't read it, it's a must for homeschooling moms.

Henry and Mudge and the Long Weekend

Better Late Than Early

In fact, the more I have my 7 year old in school, the more I am convinced of the theory "better later than early". My other son was so difficult at this age and now he's doing great. I just want to stop with my 7yo and wait a couple of years, but unfortunately dh has other ideas. My fear is that it is putting him off learning. He is reading for pizza coupons. He told me today he's read his quota for January, so he doesn't need to read any books this week. In a family of readers, this is so sad.

Raising Your Spirited Child

Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic

Product Details

• Paperback: 496 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Revised edition (November 28, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060739665
• ISBN-13: 978-0060739669
• Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 1.2 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
"The book will prove to be a real lifesaver." --Louise Bates Ames, author and association director, Gessell Institute of Human "Through excellent examples and easy-to-read text, this book provides parents with a pathway to understanding their child's temperament and to a place where parents can balance the needs of their child's unique temperament with their own needs and those of their family." -- James Cameron, Ph.D., executive director, The Preventive Ounce, Berkeley, California


About the Author

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, M.A., is an award-winning educator in Minnesota's Early Childhood Family Education Program, and founder of the Spirited Child and Power Struggles workshops. She is the bestselling author of Sleepless in America and Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles, and she lives with her family in St. Paul, Minnesota.



What are people saying?

- A Sanity Saver! (Click here to see full review)
- Worth Reading, but Ultimately Disappointing (Click here to see full review)
- Great resource-- I'm purchasing a 2nd copy 10 yrs later! (Click here to see full review)

Overall Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Stars.

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Source of Buyer Reviews and Description: Amazon.com

When he starts school it's not much better

Now he's just not participating in school and *I* have added pressure of trying to get his homework completed for his teacher and he is just refusing to do it.

I consider this to be one of my top reasons for homeschooling. If something's not working I have the flexibility to try something different.

Spirited Kids and Emotions

Just because you don't want unschooling doesn't mean you have to go to the opposite end and decide everything for him. There are so many ways to explore what needs to be done and let him take a bit of the lead. After all, in school, it's the teacher who always takes the lead and what happens with a lot of the kids? They're bored out of their minds, frustrated or not really learning.

Plus, these spirited kids tend to be very in-tune with the emotions of people around them, whether they realize it or not. (I’ve learned I really need to watch myself and my unexpressed emotions with one son when it's that time of the month for me. Yikes.) Just you being anxious about him not wanting to do something or feeling anxious about getting work done could get him being resistant. If you put too much pressure on yourself, he might feel that it's pressure on him.

When Homeschooling is Tough

I’m sick of it. I’m frustrated. I need a morale boost.

I went through a lot with my daughter in kindergarten. Actually, it happens a whole lot now, too. Giving her more of a say in what we'll do helps. "Shall we do math now or a game with the letter tiles?" "Math." "What would you like to do for math?" She usually has a pretty good idea of what she would like to do.

She actually spent 4 whole months in her kindergarten year refusing to do anything school-wise. (And this is NOT the spirited one.) She spent the entire time playing and drawing. Strangely enough, after 4 months of not looking at a book or letting me read to her, she picked up a beginner book one day, one we hadn't read together before, and pretty much read the entire thing. I’m still shocked and this was over a year ago.

How Do I Get My Child to Do What I Want?

Ideas: YOU do the fun things (building an igloo with marshmallows, etc.) on your own, but with him right there where he will see you doing it. I have tried this again and again and man, it is a great way of getting kids interested in something. If you don't say ANYTHING to them ahead of time or even invite them to do it with you, it's usually a magnet. "What are you doing?" "I’m building an igloo with marshmallows and icing." "Can I do that too?" At times they sort of know that you're trying to hook them in and they'll look at you and you'll get, "I don't want to do that." "You don't have to do it, I’m doing it." And you continue about your work. They might not join in, but they will often hang around and watch, which can often be just as much of a learning experience as actually doing it.