With 4 children chore charts just got too complicated. Some parents are organized enough to do it, but I'm not.
We give our children allowance and it's not conditional. They do chores and they are not linked to allowance. They each have their own chores that they have to do each Saturday morning. Between them they clean the house and I do the rest, or fill in if a child misses their chores for some reason. The commonest amount is $1 for every 2 years of their life. My 11 year old gets $5 and the 15 and 17 year olds get $10 each per week.
Then I have a list of chores that are paid chores, so if a child wants to earn extra money, they can. Some paid chores are not optional, like mowing the lawn, they have to mow the lawn when it needs to be done, but they get paid to do so. I can't have long grass because no child needs to earn money right now.
I think the most important thing with allowance is that you don't give money in advance. If it's Friday and allowance is due Saturday and they want to buy something, then they have to wait. They can only buy something if they actually have the money.
As far as chores goes, each child has an area they are responsible for that is cleaned on Saturday. One child vacuums, another does the bathroom, another the kitchen, etc. Then if half way through the week the floor needs vacuuming I go to the child who is in charge of vacuuming and he has to do that. Chores are not rotated very often.
Jul 6, 2011
Jul 5, 2011
Delightful Whimsy
It's not quite on the topic of homeschooling your spirited child, but here's a Facebook fan page that I follow
Delightful Whimsy
The page is about Creating a tangible happiness. She also mentions a knitting, sewing and using coupons.
Delightful Whimsy
The page is about Creating a tangible happiness. She also mentions a knitting, sewing and using coupons.
Jul 4, 2011
Teaching Your Child to Read
I have tried many reading programs. I taught my first two children how to read using Abeka and while I am not a big fan of the constant paperwork and busy work in Abeka, they do have a good strong reading program. It has many different components and if your child were into the idea of having school books, and doing school (my son loved that whole concept,) then Abeka would be a good choice. You could just buy their Handbook for Reading (the little blue book) and their phonics workbook and that should be fine. You would just work your way through the workbook and have your child read the various pages in the blue book. It is not a reading book, it is a book of blends, word beginnings, word endings, word parts so to speak.
What I have found is that despite what "program" we use most of our kids will learn how to read once we explain the dynamics of it all to them. Most of our kids will mull it over for a few weeks or months and figure it out with our guidance despite what program we are using and then they will take off and run with reading. So really, finding the ultimate reading program isn't all that weighty of a decision. I used to think it was, if I didn't experience success then I would try a new program when it was really more that the child wasn't ready to take off yet.
What I have found is that despite what "program" we use most of our kids will learn how to read once we explain the dynamics of it all to them. Most of our kids will mull it over for a few weeks or months and figure it out with our guidance despite what program we are using and then they will take off and run with reading. So really, finding the ultimate reading program isn't all that weighty of a decision. I used to think it was, if I didn't experience success then I would try a new program when it was really more that the child wasn't ready to take off yet.
Jul 3, 2011
The Pyramid Concept of Educating Children
This article explains why you have to attend to a child's basic needs first before you can teach them.
The Pyramid Concept of Educating Children
The Pyramid Concept of Educating Children
Explosive, Impulsive Temperament with Occasional Aggression
My son will be 5 at the end of this month. At the age of 15 months he contracted meningitis and lost his hearing. Cognitively, he is fine. He has a slight delay due to the hearing loss. We sign, but the hearing still impacts his language acquisition. He is a smart little guy though.
Anyway, about 6 months later, we began to experience some pretty scary tantrums. I began to refer to them as rages due to their severity. We had a difficult time getting any kind of help initially because everyone insisted it was normal two-year-old behavior, but trust me, it wasn't. My son has a very explosive temper and would often act out aggressively when upset (kicking, biting, scratching, etc.) Once he started school (at age 3) we had already sought the help of a child psychologist who was helping us with some behavior modification strategies that seemed to be helping. We only saw him for a short time because we moved closer to the state school for the deaf. I thought that maybe if he was immersed in a signing environment, his language would improve and maybe that would help him communicate through language rather than through aggressive outbursts. This was a huge mistake! We had very little support for his behavioral needs (classes were way too big and they refused to provide a personal aid who could address his behavioral needs appropriately). The entire year was a waste and he was completely out of control by early spring. There wasn't a day that I didn't get some kind of negative report back from the school "T bit a child today, T refused to go to the lunchroom, T ripped up one of our bulletin board displays while in time out." You can imagine what a nightmare this was for all of us. I was scared to death for my child's future and had no idea how to help him.
I ended up pulling him out of school that spring and had started to look into homeschooling. About this time, we found a wonderful neurologist who began to evaluate T. He diagnosed him with a combination of disorders (Oppositional Defiant Disorder -ODD-, Sensory Integration Disorder -SID-, and ADD) which I think basically describes his behavior more than really diagnose why the behavior occurs. Regardless, we started experimenting with meds and after several failed to show much improvement we tried a medication called Risperdal. He has been on a combination of Risperdal and Tegretol and is functioning MUCH better! He is still a daily challenge and still has problems with an explosive, impulsive temperament with occasional aggression, but nowhere near what we experienced that school year.
We ended up giving our home district a shot the following year and were VERY pleased by all they were able to accomplish. He started off the year in a very restrictive setting (a small preschool class for children with disabilities) so that we could get his behavior under control. His teacher was amazing and by the end of the first semester, they were recommending that he be placed in a mainstream classroom. He continued to improve and while he still needed a lot of supervision and attention to his behavior, he was socializing much better, participating more, and his noncompliance had reduced significantly.
Because he is entering kindergarten, he had to change schools and the new school is in a new district. We had a meeting and were very encouraged by the people we met with and decided that he would attend their summer program to ease him into their school. We discussed all his needs and indicated that while they might experience some transition problems, if they provided a structured, consistent environment for him, he should even out and do fine. Well, they basically did everything we told them NOT to do. The first four days he was there they had him in three different classes. All the change coupled with problems with his hearing device, etc made for some serious regression behaviorally. We had a big meeting where they asked for one more chance (which they again blew in much the same fashion) and my husband and I finally decided that we could not allow them to undue all the hard work T had done the previous year.
That brings me to now. I have decided to homeschool him and have decided to use a combination of things. I've ordered the FAIR curriculum, but plan on using other activities and methods to supplement the FAIR curriculum. I am reading Teach your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and would love to hear from anyone who may have used this in the past.
I, like most parents embarking on this journey with their child, feel a bit intimidated by the whole task. Not so much because of his hearing impairment, but because of the behavior. I worry about getting into power struggles when I want to do something "school" related and other issues of non-compliance. I worry about not having much of a break (by the way, I also work full-time at night dh works during the day) or time for me, but
I can't imagine taking any chances with my son's future either. He really is a great little boy. He can be the sweetest, funniest, silliest little thing and he brings lots of joy to our lives in spite of the extra work we sometimes have to put in. I just want to make sure that all these positive aspects of his personality aren't completely overshadowed by all the challenging ones. I am hoping that homeschooling will allow us to do this.
Anyway, about 6 months later, we began to experience some pretty scary tantrums. I began to refer to them as rages due to their severity. We had a difficult time getting any kind of help initially because everyone insisted it was normal two-year-old behavior, but trust me, it wasn't. My son has a very explosive temper and would often act out aggressively when upset (kicking, biting, scratching, etc.) Once he started school (at age 3) we had already sought the help of a child psychologist who was helping us with some behavior modification strategies that seemed to be helping. We only saw him for a short time because we moved closer to the state school for the deaf. I thought that maybe if he was immersed in a signing environment, his language would improve and maybe that would help him communicate through language rather than through aggressive outbursts. This was a huge mistake! We had very little support for his behavioral needs (classes were way too big and they refused to provide a personal aid who could address his behavioral needs appropriately). The entire year was a waste and he was completely out of control by early spring. There wasn't a day that I didn't get some kind of negative report back from the school "T bit a child today, T refused to go to the lunchroom, T ripped up one of our bulletin board displays while in time out." You can imagine what a nightmare this was for all of us. I was scared to death for my child's future and had no idea how to help him.
I ended up pulling him out of school that spring and had started to look into homeschooling. About this time, we found a wonderful neurologist who began to evaluate T. He diagnosed him with a combination of disorders (Oppositional Defiant Disorder -ODD-, Sensory Integration Disorder -SID-, and ADD) which I think basically describes his behavior more than really diagnose why the behavior occurs. Regardless, we started experimenting with meds and after several failed to show much improvement we tried a medication called Risperdal. He has been on a combination of Risperdal and Tegretol and is functioning MUCH better! He is still a daily challenge and still has problems with an explosive, impulsive temperament with occasional aggression, but nowhere near what we experienced that school year.
We ended up giving our home district a shot the following year and were VERY pleased by all they were able to accomplish. He started off the year in a very restrictive setting (a small preschool class for children with disabilities) so that we could get his behavior under control. His teacher was amazing and by the end of the first semester, they were recommending that he be placed in a mainstream classroom. He continued to improve and while he still needed a lot of supervision and attention to his behavior, he was socializing much better, participating more, and his noncompliance had reduced significantly.
Because he is entering kindergarten, he had to change schools and the new school is in a new district. We had a meeting and were very encouraged by the people we met with and decided that he would attend their summer program to ease him into their school. We discussed all his needs and indicated that while they might experience some transition problems, if they provided a structured, consistent environment for him, he should even out and do fine. Well, they basically did everything we told them NOT to do. The first four days he was there they had him in three different classes. All the change coupled with problems with his hearing device, etc made for some serious regression behaviorally. We had a big meeting where they asked for one more chance (which they again blew in much the same fashion) and my husband and I finally decided that we could not allow them to undue all the hard work T had done the previous year.
That brings me to now. I have decided to homeschool him and have decided to use a combination of things. I've ordered the FAIR curriculum, but plan on using other activities and methods to supplement the FAIR curriculum. I am reading Teach your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and would love to hear from anyone who may have used this in the past.
I, like most parents embarking on this journey with their child, feel a bit intimidated by the whole task. Not so much because of his hearing impairment, but because of the behavior. I worry about getting into power struggles when I want to do something "school" related and other issues of non-compliance. I worry about not having much of a break (by the way, I also work full-time at night dh works during the day) or time for me, but
I can't imagine taking any chances with my son's future either. He really is a great little boy. He can be the sweetest, funniest, silliest little thing and he brings lots of joy to our lives in spite of the extra work we sometimes have to put in. I just want to make sure that all these positive aspects of his personality aren't completely overshadowed by all the challenging ones. I am hoping that homeschooling will allow us to do this.
Jul 2, 2011
Backtalk, Negativity, Motivation, etc.
All the issues you have been talking about concerning backtalk, negativity, motivation, etc. have been going full force in our house. I believe that some of the intensity that we are seeing is based on us moving twice in 6 months. Don't get me wrong- my son has always got this behavior but not always as bad as it's been lately. I am trying to stay positive myself- it’s not easy. We are still trying to find the right therapist to help us. The therapist we saw a few weeks ago had recommended that we get an IEP through our new school district (even though we told her we wanted to homeschool, didn't want to address this through a school district, and that he already has an IEP through another district). Her second recommendation was that we see a behavioral therapist. We're having trouble finding one our insurance will cover and most of them cost $150 per visit, which is not a possibility.
Jul 1, 2011
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
We're about 15 lessons away from finishing Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons. I love this book for my son - it's been perfect for him because it is supposed to get your child reading at 2nd grade level- the grade he is about to complete.
I used it with my son and it went well. Afterwards I went to an easy reader from the bookstore, library, anywhere I could find. I also ordered the first grade reading selection from Abeka. It was good too and progressed him to reading longer stories. He now is reading at a 3/4-grade level and is only in first grade. The book for him was a good fit to get him off and running in his reading. I have always read a lot to my kids.
I used this book to teach 3 of my 4 children to read, and each time we finished, I struggled for what to do next. What I did for each child was just to move on to easy readers, they were all ready for them after finishing TYCTR. With my daughter now I read to her a lot, and she always has to read the first page. She finds reading a whole book (even an easy reader) too much, but will happily read the first page, whatever the size of the book.
I used it with my son and it went well. Afterwards I went to an easy reader from the bookstore, library, anywhere I could find. I also ordered the first grade reading selection from Abeka. It was good too and progressed him to reading longer stories. He now is reading at a 3/4-grade level and is only in first grade. The book for him was a good fit to get him off and running in his reading. I have always read a lot to my kids.
I used this book to teach 3 of my 4 children to read, and each time we finished, I struggled for what to do next. What I did for each child was just to move on to easy readers, they were all ready for them after finishing TYCTR. With my daughter now I read to her a lot, and she always has to read the first page. She finds reading a whole book (even an easy reader) too much, but will happily read the first page, whatever the size of the book.
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