My son will be 5 at the end of this month. At the age of 15 months he contracted meningitis and lost his hearing. Cognitively, he is fine. He has a slight delay due to the hearing loss. We sign, but the hearing still impacts his language acquisition. He is a smart little guy though.
Anyway, about 6 months later, we began to experience some pretty scary tantrums. I began to refer to them as rages due to their severity. We had a difficult time getting any kind of help initially because everyone insisted it was normal two-year-old behavior, but trust me, it wasn't. My son has a very explosive temper and would often act out aggressively when upset (kicking, biting, scratching, etc.) Once he started school (at age 3) we had already sought the help of a child psychologist who was helping us with some behavior modification strategies that seemed to be helping. We only saw him for a short time because we moved closer to the state school for the deaf. I thought that maybe if he was immersed in a signing environment, his language would improve and maybe that would help him communicate through language rather than through aggressive outbursts. This was a huge mistake! We had very little support for his behavioral needs (classes were way too big and they refused to provide a personal aid who could address his behavioral needs appropriately). The entire year was a waste and he was completely out of control by early spring. There wasn't a day that I didn't get some kind of negative report back from the school "T bit a child today, T refused to go to the lunchroom, T ripped up one of our bulletin board displays while in time out." You can imagine what a nightmare this was for all of us. I was scared to death for my child's future and had no idea how to help him.
I ended up pulling him out of school that spring and had started to look into homeschooling. About this time, we found a wonderful neurologist who began to evaluate T. He diagnosed him with a combination of disorders (Oppositional Defiant Disorder -ODD-, Sensory Integration Disorder -SID-, and ADD) which I think basically describes his behavior more than really diagnose why the behavior occurs. Regardless, we started experimenting with meds and after several failed to show much improvement we tried a medication called Risperdal. He has been on a combination of Risperdal and Tegretol and is functioning MUCH better! He is still a daily challenge and still has problems with an explosive, impulsive temperament with occasional aggression, but nowhere near what we experienced that school year.
We ended up giving our home district a shot the following year and were VERY pleased by all they were able to accomplish. He started off the year in a very restrictive setting (a small preschool class for children with disabilities) so that we could get his behavior under control. His teacher was amazing and by the end of the first semester, they were recommending that he be placed in a mainstream classroom. He continued to improve and while he still needed a lot of supervision and attention to his behavior, he was socializing much better, participating more, and his noncompliance had reduced significantly.
Because he is entering kindergarten, he had to change schools and the new school is in a new district. We had a meeting and were very encouraged by the people we met with and decided that he would attend their summer program to ease him into their school. We discussed all his needs and indicated that while they might experience some transition problems, if they provided a structured, consistent environment for him, he should even out and do fine. Well, they basically did everything we told them NOT to do. The first four days he was there they had him in three different classes. All the change coupled with problems with his hearing device, etc made for some serious regression behaviorally. We had a big meeting where they asked for one more chance (which they again blew in much the same fashion) and my husband and I finally decided that we could not allow them to undue all the hard work T had done the previous year.
That brings me to now. I have decided to homeschool him and have decided to use a combination of things. I've ordered the FAIR curriculum, but plan on using other activities and methods to supplement the FAIR curriculum. I am reading Teach your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and would love to hear from anyone who may have used this in the past.
I, like most parents embarking on this journey with their child, feel a bit intimidated by the whole task. Not so much because of his hearing impairment, but because of the behavior. I worry about getting into power struggles when I want to do something "school" related and other issues of non-compliance. I worry about not having much of a break (by the way, I also work full-time at night dh works during the day) or time for me, but
I can't imagine taking any chances with my son's future either. He really is a great little boy. He can be the sweetest, funniest, silliest little thing and he brings lots of joy to our lives in spite of the extra work we sometimes have to put in. I just want to make sure that all these positive aspects of his personality aren't completely overshadowed by all the challenging ones. I am hoping that homeschooling will allow us to do this.
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