My son had daily tantrums, the smallest of things would spark him off. I would tell him to go to his room and calm down, but that just made things worse. He would go into his room and trash the place, giving us hours of work when once he had calmed down.
By the time he was 4th grade he seemed to turn into the Incredible Hulk when he had a tantrum, and gain extra strength for someone his age.
What I did was I took him out for breakfast once a week and we discussed the previous week. I asked him what caused the tantrum, how he had reacted and how he should have reacted. That way, we reduced the severity of the tantrums and gradually reduced the frequency.
We learned to recognize what happened in the minutes before he blew. And he said that being sent to his room made him angrier. He decided to go into a different room and sit quietly in a chair when he was feeling like exploding, or had just exploded. Then he made the decision to return to family life when he felt he was calm enough.
He’s a teenager now and recently told me he didn’t think he ever got angry as a small child. Gee, I wish I’d had a video camera back then!
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